Birth Day Memories

On my first child's first birthday, memories of his arrival into this world flooded me. My mom never told me that her children's birthdays meant it was a special memory-day for her!

Today, our youngest son is 11 years old. I started remembering the birth journey yesterday, Easter Sunday, because 11 years ago on a Sunday, I was in bed with the flu and having intermittent labor, praying that I wouldn't have him until I was better. My sister stayed with us to help take care of the older four boys, and she cleaned my house from top to bottom. What a blessing!

Conrad came with me to my doctor's appointment on Monday. They did a non-stress test and sent me on my way. I told the doctor that I was in labor and I wanted him to examine me, but he refused. I told him I thought I was in labor. He told me that I was not in labor, but was experiencing Braxton Hicks. I told him that this was my third baby, and I knew the difference between Braxton Hicks and actual labor. He continued to argue with me, and told me that Braxton Hicks with a third baby are painful. But he saw that I refused to leave without an exam, and gave in. When he examined me, his eyes opened wide and he ran out and snapped orders to call the hospital and tell them to expect us. I was dilated to five. I just said, "Thank you," and we left.

My first baby was born in a hospital, so I knew what to expect--immediate IV's, no food or water until after the birth, and no more say in anything. I hated it. My second baby was born in a birthing center, and it was a beautiful, awesome experience, but although my pregnancy started there with Jacob, I had to move to a hospital because he was considered High Risk. Hoping to have Patient's Rights respected, I made a list of what I wanted/didn't want, and previously gave it to the hospital and doctor's office. The doctor that I gave it to laughed and called it my "Wish List". I think he thought it was cute. With this in mind, after we left the doctor's office, I asked Conrad to take me to the grocery store so I could have a last meal, since it was after lunchtime and I didn't know when I would eat again. I got a most luscious fresh mixed fruit bowl. I savored it in the car as we continued to the hospital.

Boy, were they upset when we walked through the door! They yelled at us that they expected us a "long time ago!" I thought, "Here we go, I'm no longer a person." They put in an IV to hydrate me and an antibiotic for the Beta Strep that I needed to receive for four hours before the birth, for the baby's safety.

The doctor who came in and checked me decided to break my water, since I was just "poking along". I said, "I wouldn't do that, because I'm supposed to get the IV antibiotic for four hours before he's born, and if you break my water, he'll be born right away. That's what happened with my previous births." He disagreed with me and said, "This baby won't be born right away!" and broke my water.

Then everyone left us alone. I told Conrad, "I'd better go to the bathroom one last time before he's born," so he helped me there. Sitting on the commode felt so good that I just wanted to stay there, but when I suddenly felt like pushing, I panicked and called Conrad to help me back to bed. The baby was coming.

Conrad ran out to get a nurse, and she was very rude and angry that her pizza lunch was disturbed. She said, "She's not having that baby already!" However, when she checked me, she yelled at someone to call the doctor, who came pretty quickly. He was surprised, but calm. I told Conrad to call my mom, who wanted to be at the birth, but I sadly knew she'd never make it. I glared at some male paramedics-in-training who came to watch, and I was so relieved when they respectfully left.

The baby was born right away. Absolutely the easiest birth of the three. Because I was sick and had a fever, he also had a fever, but they told me that after he was born it was quickly dropping down to normal. He also didn't get the four hours of antibiotic, so they had to take him to the neonatal unit (nicu) to continue antibiotics until they got test results back, which would be three days. I begged them to let me see him before they took him, and when they all left the room for a minute, a sympathetic student nurse brought him to me. I held Jacob for the first time, and instantly bonded. Then the pizza nurse came in and yelled at me for endangering my baby with my flu, and rushed him away. They didn't let me hold him again for 24 hours. I was glad that his brothers, grandparents and father were there to cuddle him as I watched through the glass.

Eventually the hospital did a 180 and let me scrub, put on a gown and mask, and go in to him. For the first time since that brief bonding, I was able to hold him. Initially I wasn't allowed to breastfeed, but another day later when the breastfeeding team came along, they reversed that opinion too, and in fact encouraged it, and were upset with me that I hadn't been breastfeeding him all along.

I was upset when the doctor that came to perform Jacob's circumcision was the same one from my Monday appointment. Conrad and I had read an article about babies and pain, and the article suggested using a simple topical numbing ointment before performing a circumcision. It certainly seemed like a small request on our part. He absolutely refused, and circumcised Jacob as he did all baby boys, without any regard to the pain he inflicted upon him. My poor baby. He had IV's and monitors all over him, and this heartless man could not put a simple ointment on him. Conrad and I are still so disgusted with ourselves for allowing it.

Thankfully, I was an experienced mom, otherwise it all would have been much more overwhelming and upsetting than it was. Instead, I saw that Jacob got plenty of love from others, and I patiently bided my time. I knew he would be mine in a matter of time. All the wonderful IV fluids had helped flush the flu from my system, and I was feeling much better. Jacob was born at 5:00 p.m. Monday, and was discharged by 9:00 Thursday evening. From that moment, I could feel freedom. He was my baby for the first time. I was a free person with choices again. Life with our baby boy has been absolutely wonderful. What a blessing the last 11 years have been!